My search for that deep inner wisdom and the Wiser Woman within has been going on since I can remember and of course has evolved over time. 

The stories I write about in this post are the ones that stand out as I’ve reflected on my quest to find, define and connect with Spirit. It all began when I was a child. 

On my 50th birthday I woke up to the thought that I was more than halfway through my life and that I’d better make the most of what was left, even though I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. 

I imagined standing on my timeline facing my past, now a middle-aged woman, witnessing a long line of all the people and events unfolding from the day I was born to that moment.

I’m sitting quietly this morning sipping my first cup of coffee noticing a feeling of unrest or longing or anticipation, maybe frustration - or perhaps a mix of all of them.

I’m grateful for these moments and this time in life. As a woman in midlife I’ve become someone who can allow, and sit with, these feelings. Past versions of me wouldn’t have tolerated the discomfort - I’d have bypassed them by getting up and carrying on with my day.

These moments in midlife remind me to listen to my inner longings….

Now fully engaged in midlife, forgiveness is something that feels a little easier than it used to, although to be honest I am still resistant to the word.  I’ve grappled with this idea – of forgiving myself and others.  

I spent time at my grandson’s music class yesterday, a gift to me as a woman in midlife, a grandma who treasures these moments not having had grandmothers in her life to attend classes, concerts or games.

And, as I write this I realize some of you reading my post may not be a grandmother – no worries, there’s more to this story, a message for all of us whether in midlife or not to take away.  It just happens that I learned the lesson I’m about to share with again through my grandson and his music class.

You’d think I’d have so many more things figured out now that I’m a woman well into mid-life, especially regarding grief and loss, wouldn’t you? 

Whenever I’ve lost hope, especially during midlife transitions, life has felt stark, depressing, and fearful.  I’m grateful that it has only happened a handful of times throughout my lifetime. 

For the most part, I’ve more often than not felt the opposite – hopeful, a glass half-full kind of person, even when navigating midlife change, and even when the outcomes weren’t what I’d hoped they’d be. 

I’ve had many comments and eye rolls from my family about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) or Tapping when I share how powerful a tool it is for calming our bodies and minds. As I write this, I can hear them, a note of sarcasm embedded in their voices - “yah, Ok Mom”, “no one wants to tap with you”, or “you’re the only one who thinks its a good idea!”

As I was exploring what to write about this week, I came across Anne-Laure Le Cunff’s blog post “Why I Write - and Why You Should Too”. She’s a successful writer and a popular one - 100,000 people have had eyes on her posts, something she never expected to happen when she began writing once a week.

The question she asked herself after reaching this milestone was “would I keep on writing if no one ever read my words?”.

As I’ve taken on this new mindset of “it’s an experiment”, I wondered what it would be like to draw. I’ve never been good at art, and until recently never even considered trying my hand at drawing.

But the Universe has a way of pulling one in and pointing out new directions when we least expect it.

What if you could approach your life through the lens of “it’s an experiment”?

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~ Lao Tzu

I was sharing my weight loss journey with some friends the other day and realized Lao Tzu’s 3 greatest treasures are exactly what I’ve been learning and putting into practice.

Has the last 6 months been easy?

Happy International Women’s Day (IWD)!

Of course I would write about women today! This is a challenging time - Google and Apple have removed IWD from their calendar, women’s rights are being systematically eroded in the US, and women continue to fight for equality, respect, and freedom throughout the world. It’s shocking in this day and age!

It’s hard to think about self-compassion without also acknowledging our inner critic. In a recent Tap and Write Circle, we began by writing about our inner critic, that part of us that has kept many of us feeling we’re not enough, unworthy, and stuck in outdated patterns of thought and beliefs.

In her book “Little Stories of Your Life-Find your voice, share your world and tell your story”, Laura Pashby blends photography with writing short stories. She encourages us to notice and write about moments, suggesting that “If we don’t see the value of tiny moments, we will miss the little stories.”

It was our last class in “Women Rowing North - Writing My Life Stories” this week. I’ll miss writing each week to a theme - it gave me purpose and helped me explore my life at a deeper level. And, I’m grateful for the opportunity to have been introduced to authors I might not have found myself.

The final theme was called “On the Brink of Everything”, a perfect way to wrap up this series of writing classes….

Maya Angelou said “I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.”  (Watch here:  https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=248396640653105)

It’s easy to see other women as phenomenal – the confidence and self-acceptance they exude as they speak, enter a room, connect and communicate without bravado or fanfare.  They make being phenomenal look easy, “no big deal”, natural.

As I struggled to write about belonging this week images of my past flashed before me – images from when I was young and didn’t understand the intricacies of relationships but knew when I felt betrayed by someone’s words or actions, knew that it wasn’t always enough to know I could find home within.