On my 50th birthday I woke up to the thought that I was more than halfway through my life and that I’d better make the most of what was left, even though I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant.

I imagined standing on my timeline facing my past, now a middle-aged woman, witnessing a long line of all the people and events unfolding from the day I was born to that moment.

As I turned around to face my future, I inhaled sharply, for what I saw was a much shorter path in front of me, a timeline that had a finite ending to it. I no longer saw a future that, like a prairie landscape, seemed to go on forever.

For each birthday after that, I’ve taken a moment to reflect, pause, and notice how the future feels shorter with each passing year, smaller even, mimicking our shrinking bodies the older we get.

I’ve often wondered how much longer I’ll be able to coach and what I’d do if I had to stop. I’ve laid awake during many late nights and early mornings thinking about time and how it is of the essence.

I’ve experienced moments of panic, feeling that I don’t have the time left to do all I want to. There have been many moments in which I’ve felt like I’m drowning in a deep pool of loss because the future seems so much shorter than I want it to be and there will come a time through age or death that I will be stopped short.

If you’re thinking this is a good example of a scarcity mindset, you’d be right. In the last few months, I’ve noticed how limiting it feels. As I look ahead, I could easily live another 20+ years.

How is it serving me to see my future as limited?

Longevity and Living Longer

Helen Hirsch Spence suggests approaching midlife and aging with a longevity mindset.

In her TED talk Helen begins with a statistic – 10,000 Americans turn 65 years every day and ¼ of Canada’s population will be over 65 in a few years. In fact, according to Stats Can projections, 21 to 29% of Canadians could be aged 65 or older by 2068. (Source: Table 17-10-0057-01, Statistics Canada, 2022.)

We are getting older. And, in the Western World we have the privilege of living longer. I won’t go into the reasons for living longer, but I’m inclined to agree with Spence suggesting the importance of living with a longevity mindset – “…those extra years that we now have are the new norm and no more the exception.

A longevity mindset has a positive, lasting impact on how we act, think, and live.” It’s about being proactive, taking care of our minds and bodies, facing the future with a positive outlook that maximizes our health and wellbeing as we age.

The Cost of Ageism

Ageism makes achieving a longevity mindset more challenging. It’s something that’s still acceptable in our society and if there’s one thing that impacts our confidence and derails a longevity mindset by infiltrating us consciously and unconsciously, it’s this.

We are penalized for aging whether it’s in hiring practices, or backhanded compliments like “you look great for your age”, or that we’re not productive and retirement means we’re “put out to pasture”.

The Case for Reinventing Our Mindset

Dorian Mintzer interviewed Mary Cronin, a social entrepreneur, a research professor, and consultant in her podcast, Revolutionize Your Retirement. Cronin shared the outcome of her research about the aging entrepreneur and success. Her research debunked the belief that it’s the young who not only dominate the world of business startups but are the most successful.

She shared that age and experience are vital components to the successful companies started by those of us over 50. And it’s often the case that when we create our companies and businesses, we’re doing so because we’re passionate about the industry, thrive on purpose and growth, and have no intention of matching the stereotype of a retiree.

Real Role Models Redefining Aging

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with retiring and going in a different direction - not everyone wants to be in business. My half-sister, Jane, worked as an educational psychologist into her 70’s. It was in her 50’s (I hope I have this right Jane?) that she began running and competing in marathons. She replaced work with fitness and now in her 80’s she continues to run marathons at a slightly slower pace, volunteers at running events and raises money for a children’s hospital, does yoga and Pilates regularly and walks her dogs daily.

I can think of other aging role models who continue to find purpose and live with a longevity mindset. Helen Miren in Mobland (on Prime Video), for example, is now 80 and playing a big role in the series.

Dr. Carol Orsborn, writer, says “How you age is not a problem to be solved but a spiritual choice.” She has written extensively about conscious aging – her tagline is “Older, Wiser, Fiercer”.

Reflections for and from the Future

I suppose when I created W.I.S.E.R. Woman coaching in 2016, I anticipated coaching once I retired but didn’t really think about it beyond that - it seemed like a good retirement strategy, an avenue to share my knowledge and expertise, a way for me to stay relevant, have a purpose, and continue to grow and learn.

As time has gone on and I’m now closer to 70, I look around to my coaching colleagues, my age and older, and they’re still coaching, finding ways to keep their passion alive, giving back, and enjoying a little extra income.

We don’t know what the future holds and sometimes I think that’s a good thing. Is it inevitable that age will intervene in my plans and take me in a different direction? Perhaps. But I like the idea of expanding my limited mindset and vision of the future and continue to age consciously.

It doesn’t change the fact that my future is shorter than it used to be but as a woman in midlife with an unknown number of years ahead of me, I’d like to feel more expansive and creative; to use these years to put my dreams into actions; to look back into my past when I’m at the end of this life and know that I made every effort to create the circumstances and opportunities to live my best life.

7 Pillars of conscious aging and a Longevity Mindset - My Personal List

If you’re wondering what conscious aging and a longevity mindset is comprised of, here’s my list:

Optimism – a realistic but positive, glass half full kind of perspective about the future and years ahead
Health – taking the time and making a point of looking after our health. It’s about making sure we’re getting regular check-ups, mammograms, eating good/nourishing food most of the time etc.
Movement – our bodies were designed to move, and this becomes increasingly important as we age; having strong bodies means we’ll be able to get up off the floor, stand up from the toilet, carry grocery bags, walk with balance, etc.
Prep for the Future – as much as we can. Having a financial plan, an idea of living options available to us, a will, all go along way to aging with more ease
Change management – embracing change. Be open to learning new things that could support our learning and growth and connect us with others; be flexible enough to adapt to changes in our lives and those of our family/friends
Support – ask for help. No one is an island. Don’t let aging derail your life – be prepared to get emotional/physical/spiritual help when things feel too much
Meaning and Purpose – knowing our WHY, having a reason to rise and get out of bed, creating something to look forward to each day are important elements in having purpose and a reason to live. Have a list of things, people, activities at each stage of life that you can draw on and turn to, that remind you to live as fully as you can, while you can.

And finally, I’ve recently discovered Oldster Magazine by Sari Botton and loved her interview with Bella Ruth Bader which I encourage you to read – I want to be like Bella when I’m 86!

Thanks for reading! I’d love to know what you think about a Longevity Mindset and Conscious Aging – leave me a note below or send me a private email letting me know.

Won’t you join me? I’ve thoughtfully created some writing prompts for you inside The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide where you can explore topics and issues like this one. Join us HERE

As always, thank you!

Joan

Rethinking Aging: The Longevity Mindset & Aging Consciously

From Rituals to Intuition: A Midlife Woman’s Spiritual Awakening

Feeling Stuck or Stirred? What Your Quiet Mornings Are Telling You