The Power of Friendship in Midlife: A Tribute to Women Who Walk With Us
Friends. Where would we be without them?
I can’t imagine my life without the women who are my core friends - my besties, my people. They’re the ones who’ve hung in there with me; who’ve been there through thick and thin; who have seen me at my best and in my worst moments and decided I was worth sticking with.
We’re all now middle-aged at varying stages of retirement - some of us older or closer to 70 than we’d like. Nothing has been able to tear us apart, our threads woven tightly into a tapestry of friendship that holds all our stories; we’re stronger than ever as we walk the path paved by those who’ve gone before us, lighting the way ahead for those who walk behind.
Types of Friendships That Shape Life
Over the years I’ve come to believe there are different types of friendships, each offering their own benefits:
Acquaintances and casual friends: I wouldn’t share my deepest, darkest secrets with these folks, although we might have meaningful conversations that feel quite intimate. I might see them at work or at an activity, perhaps even have lunch with them. Our relationships are easy, fun, light – we might connect through networking and touch base online, comment on each other’s blog posts, and follow along on social media, or meet up at the gym.
Close and lifelong friends: These are the people I’m connected deeply with. Our relationships are based on trust, respect, honesty, unconditional acceptance, and love. Some stretch back to childhood while others were formed in adulthood and have grown strong and enduring.
What Others Say About Friendship and Aging
Much has been written about friendship:
Helen in Ageless Possibilities reflects on why friendship quality vs quantity matters in midlife and beyond.
Aristotle wrote about 3 categories of friendships, described in this article.
Sanjana Gupta explored 4 types of friendships HERE, noting that each serves a unique purpose.
Nina Badzin in her thoughtful Substack “Dear Nina” writes about the joys and challenges of friendships and how to navigate through them HERE.
Psychology Today highlights “The 7 types of Friends and Which is Most Essential for Our Happiness: Less Intimate Friendships May Matter More Than You Thought” noting the value and importance of friendship.
Why Friendship Matters for Midlife Mental Health
It's no surprise that friendships are linked to one’s mental health and wellbeing. In this piece, The American Psychological Association notes that people with friends are more likely to live longer and manage stress better. Brain scans have shown that when friends are together our brain activity is very similar.
A positive connection and belonging are two of the most powerful determinants of mental, psychological and emotional good health.
Rona Maynard wrote about the importance of learning how to be a friend, especially as we reach midlife and beyond. What struck me was her belief that no one needs to be lonely. She notes that “nobody is drawn to a person of any age who doesn’t know how to be a friend.” Food for thought.
Seasons of Friendship: Letting Go and Holding On
The poem “Reason, Season and a Lifetime” beautifully expresses the idea that just as we must embrace some friendships, we must let others go. It has helped me on more than one occasion appreciate the lessons I’ve learned from friends who’ve come and gone from my life; some without explanation, others through illness or death, an unresolved quibble, and sometimes because we’ve drifted apart.
Growing W.I.S.E.R. with Friends Beside Me
Finally, as I age and grow W.I.S.E.R., I’ve come to value my close and lifelong friends more than ever. I’ve tried never to take my friends for granted but know that I’m not perfect. Somewhere along the way, I’ve likely not given them the importance they deserve, or paid enough attention.
Today, however, my good friends are top of mind.
This is my tribute to them – to friendship, to the strength of aging women and the power we carry and hold.
Where Would I Be Without You, Friends? A poem for the women who’ve walked beside me (and still do).
The women who see me.
The gems who’ve joined in life’s ups and the downs,
Declaring “let’s go” despite not knowing the end.
The women who stand in my corner, gloves on,
Ready to fight, defending our souls with all their might.
Where would I be without friends setting me straight,
Those women who laugh at my foibles to lighten the weight,
Who dare to ask questions I avoid like the plague,
Who hold space with wisdom when everything aches –
When life is unfair, hard, and vague.
Where would we be without one another?
The bonds that are forged,
Our energies linked through time and space,
A knowing we feel that’s grounded and safe.
Together we’ll be, for as long as we’re here,
Channeling wisdom we’ve earned and hold most dear,
Crones we’ve become, intuitive sages,
Writing new chapters after surviving the ages.
Speaking our truths with so much more ease
Softer yet stronger, our power alive
Together we rise. Walking together
Rise women rise. Friends forever.
Who are the Women Who’ve Walked Beside You? If you’re lucky enough to have friends who’ve been there for you, let them know – share this post with them.
Friendship in midlife now and beyond, isn’t just a comfort. It’s a lifeline.
Thanks for reading (or listening above).
Joan
If you’re interested in therapeutic/reflective writing, you’ll fine weekly prompts on themes such as this one and topics related to midlife, aging, change and transition in The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide. Join HERE.
And, explore the benefits of combining EFT Tapping with Therapeutic/reflective writing in The Tap and Write Studio. Won’t you join me?
