I’m sitting quietly this morning sipping my first cup of coffee noticing a feeling of unrest or longing or anticipation, maybe frustration - or perhaps a mix of all of them.

I’m grateful for these moments and this time in life. As a woman in midlife I’ve become someone who can allow and sit with these feelings. Past versions of me wouldn’t have tolerated the discomfort - I’d have bypassed them by getting up and carrying on with my day.

These moments in midlife remind me to listen to my inner longings.

My thoughts have been rolling into each other, a jumble of ideas and desires mixed in with practical reminders about today’s agenda and what the day might have in store for me.

My body is happy to sit for awhile and yet I can feel stiffness creeping into my knees. I’ll need to get up soon - walking has become second nature, part of an anti-inflammatory, weight loss, and wellness lifestyle strategy to keep joints well-oiled and lower the temperature of arthritic aches and pains. It all started with “it’s an experiment” to help me shift my mindset and take consistent daily action, one step at a time.

Walking hourly up and down the hall and stairs before heading out for longer walks also helps me manage my emotional wellbeing - it creates space for me to think and dream, time to listen to podcasts and music, or tune into my body’s messages.

This simple tool, whether in your 50’s, 60’s, 70’s or beyond, has so many *benefits to healthy aging*. All you need is a pair of runners, a hallway &/or stairs, the outdoors, a gym, a mall or community centre walking path - and you’re set!

Why Strength Training in Midlife Matters

And, I’ve been strength training more regularly lately, not just because I love the feeling afterward of having challenged my body, but because I see how much strength (physical and mental) it’s taken my husband to recover from a knee replacement.

I want to be that woman in her 70’s and beyond who can lift herself up, carry heavy grocery bags, walk up and down hills with ease and not feel like her lungs are going to explode.

It’s meant building a consistent wellness practice - making the time to work out, and navigating those excuses that still pop into my head reminding me that there’s always tomorrow….

Midlife Dreams and Facing Fears

But I digress. Now sipping my second cuppa with 2,000 steps into my daily 9500-step goal under my belt, I return to my dream of renting a cottage by the sea/ocean in the UK so I can walk on the beach filling my soul with the sounds of waves washing up on shore, the wind filling my lungs with pure sea air, and feeling the soft sand support my feet as I wander along.

It’s where I’d write and create to my heart’s content, have a glass of wine (or two) in the pub down the road, meet the locals, shop in the village, wander through the bookstore; maybe attend a writing retreat.

I might venture out to explore my heritage and wander through ancient castles and graveyards.

A solo trip - a travel adventure just for me - with perhaps short visits from my family and friends.

As I ponder my dream, there’s always a “but” that interrupts my excitement, fans my fears, and challenges my confidence.

“But”, my inner critic asks, “what about the cost? Won’t you miss all the family activities and dinners at home? What if you feel lonely? Is it safe? What if you fall or get sick, or worse one of the kids or grandchildren needs you and you’re not there?” And the list goes on.

I recently came across Tracy Smyth’s website Travel Bug Tonic if you’re interested in solo travel. Her post “Travelling Solo for the First Time: Listen to the Whispers to GO” invites us to acknowledge our fears and consider this:

What if it's actually an act of profound self-care… a chance to re-acquaint ourselves with the woman who used to dream big for herself before life got so wonderfully, beautifully complicated. What if it is a much-needed opportunity to take up some space to flourish?

What if I could let my fears fall by the wayside and approach this opportunity as an experiment?

Creating Space for Women to Reflect and Grow

And then, I notice I’m pulled to creating something new in the Tap and Write Studio, something tangible that clients and participants will love and find useful.

I’ve imagined:

an online community where Tap and Writers can gather and together we can explore our lives and challenges regularly
writing a reflective journal to record thoughts, shift limiting beliefs, explore what needs to emerge whenever we want to
creating online and in-person Tap and Write retreats
expanding 1-1 Tap and Write session offerings
facilitating Tap and Write Circles at writing festivals

Can you picture a Tap and Write Retreat? A group of midlife women like you and me, coming together in a beautiful setting (maybe by the sea) where we can sit around a big wooden table in a space that in and of itself inspires our creativity and joy.

It would be an event that fills our need for connection and safety, time for a little tapping, writing and reflection, for nourishment with delicious food, some movement, maybe a touch of art, music - all elements that support personal growth, restoration, transformation and care for our souls.

Doubts and Desire and the Power of One Small Step

And then, I wonder - will I make my dreams and ideas come true? After all, it’s completely up to me.

Some days I convince myself I can’t - no one wants what I have to offer. I don’t know how to expand my practice or how to promote myself effectively. A solo trip isn’t in the cards.

And then some days I feel unstoppable - that I still have the time left in my life, enough energy and passion to continue being of service and young enough to embark on a solo journey. There’s no reason for me not to achieve it all!

As I finish my coffee I notice the morning has flown by and and once again I’m called back to the commitments I made, appointments booked in my calendar, the chats I look forward to with family and clients, the walk I’m in need of before the sun has set.

And finally, I look forward to tomorrow morning and another quiet moment. Perhaps I’ll take my own advice and put my attention towards thinking of one small step I could take towards realizing at least one of my dreams.

I’d love to hear from you! Do you have dreams? What are they? Please feel free to share with me privately or leave a comment below.

Thanks for reading. I don’t take your time and energy for granted and hope that you gain something from my words each week.

Won’t you join me? I’ve thoughtfully created some writing prompts for you inside The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide where you can explore topics and issues like this one. Join us HERE

As always, thank you!

Joan

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