Slow and Steady Weight Loss in Midlife: Why the Tortoise Wins
Taken about a year ago. Changes have happened since then.
The Tortoise and the Hare
Remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? As the tale goes, the hare made fun of the tortoise for being so slow.
“Do you ever get anywhere?" he asked with a mocking laugh.”
The tortoise answered the hare with “…I get there sooner than you think. I'll run you a race and prove it."
Of course the hare accepted, believing a win was imminent. When the race began, the hare took off at lightening bolt speed, and within a short time was far ahead of the tortoise.
He thought it was ridiculous, the idea that the tortoise would win against him. So to show the tortoise up, he took a nap while waiting for the tortoise to s-l-o-w-l-y catch up.
Well, you know what happens - the hare sleeps on while the tortoise crosses the finish line first, leaving the hare scrambling to catch up.
The motto: slow and steady wins the race.
What has this tale got to do with midlife, aging, womanhood, or anything else I write about? A lot.
Midlife and the Myth of Being “Late”!
In the post “Redefining Aging: How Late Bloomers Thrive in Midlife and Beyond”, I begin by explaining that I always thought (and was told) I was a “late bloomer”, just a step or two behind my peers. As it turns out, I was someone who was in step with herself - I arrived in my own time, not a minute before, always putting one foot in front of the other regardless of the pressure to step to someone else’s drumbeat. Step by step, slowly but surely, I’ve inched ahead, just like the tortoise.
When I think of the 10 months I’ve been on a weight loss and health improvement journey, I’ve often thought of myself as the tortoise.
Rewriting the Weight Loss Narrative in Midlife
Journaling helps to sort through the maze of thoughts, keep track of daily habits, create a new path forward, take note of progress, and write new stories.
Here I am, plodding along, celebrating the small amount of weight I’ve lost, reminding myself that, once again, my body is losing weight at exactly the right amount and in the right time for her.
Others have shot ahead of me by miles, speeding along like the hare, passing me by - I’ve had to focus on the road ahead, reminding myself to stay in my own lane.
Step by Step: What’s Working for Me
As the tortoise in my story, I’ve taken one step at a time to address the habits that were challenging me to feel and be healthier. This “race” began with digging into WHY - we need to know why we’re prepared to set out on a journey and just like the tortoise proving he/she could win the race, I began to prove to myself I could finally and forever release the weight I’d been carrying for far too long, no matter how long it takes.
The next step was to shift my mindset and change a long-held belief that I’d failed in the past and would fail again. Diet culture and the mentality that goes along with it was deeply embedded, showing up in subtle ways, lurking in the background, trying to distract me so I’d veer off course. One by one, step by step, I’ve debunked each thought - I think it’s safe to say that recognizing and releasing these insidious thoughts is easier and faster now.
Other steps I’ve taken:
Sleep: With the help of a sleep clinic, 10 months later, I’ve reduced the grip sleep apnea had on my breathing and sleep patterns.
Thyroid Awareness: I’ve begun to take more notice of how I’m feeling, emotionally and physically, as I’ve adjusted my thyroid medications and vitamin deficiencies. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s and hypothyroidism in my 20’s so the ups and downs are not new - what’s new is that I’m paying more attention to my body’s rhythms, symptoms, and nudges and to what they mean.
Food and Nourishment: I’m also paying more attention to food and eating a nutrient dense diet to support both weight loss and my thyroid, while still enjoying a bit of dark chocolate daily - it’s been transformative.
Movement and Strength: My step count has increased to 9500-10,000 steps daily and strength training (which also helps increase cardio capacity) has helped my bones and muscles to become stronger - more importantly, it’s helped my mental health, knowing I’m doing what I can to support my body as I age, now in the 3rd and final act of my life.
Progress Beyond the Scale: The scale isn’t the only way to measure success. How I feel, photos I’ve taken (before and after pictures), measurements (inches), the increased strength in my legs as I climb hills, the ease I now feel when I look in the mirror - these are the non-scale victories I now celebrate.
A Mindset Shift: Experimenting With Maintenance
As I embarked on this journey, I made the decision to be open and curious as I plodded along. When my coach suggested I take a short break from being in a calorie deficit, I admit to some resistance.
A week or two of increased calories, she said, gives our bodies a break from being in a calorie deficit and helps us prepare mentally for when we no longer need to lose weight, but maintain it. Ideally, I’ll be practicing maintenance regularly from now on.
I’m about to take the plunge and see what happens as I increase my calories for a week or two. I’m going into this thinking of it as an experiment so I can detach from the outcome - in the past, permission to eat more would have resulted in binging, a free-for-all of all the foods I’d restricted and limited. Returning to a calorie deficit, or a maintenance break, would have been tough slogging and not without a menu of bitter recriminations, self-loathing and shame.
Aging, Awareness, and Gentle Change
Aside from the physiological benefits of eating more nutritious food, I wonder how my body will feel?
Will I put some weight on and how will I handle it if I do?
Can I do this with ease?
What will happen once I return to a calorie deficit?
How will my body adjust to another change?
Will this break give her what she needs to trust that I’ll feed her well, now and in the future?
What else will I notice and learn?
Once again I’m reminded of the tortoise. Each step, however slow, inches me forward towards the finish line (defined by me as both reaching a comfortable weight and then maintaining it ongoing).
I’m glad I’m not the hare, rushing ahead only to find I’m behind.
Slow and stead wins the race!
Thanks for reading - I appreciate it!
If the story of the Tortoise and the Hare have touched you in some way, please share this post!
And, I’d love to know your experience of feeling you’ve been the tortoise and/or the hare - you can leave a comment below or connect with me privately.
As always, I’ve created some therapeutic/reflective writing prompts specially for you in The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide. Won’t you join me? You can subscribe HERE.
Until next time,
Joan
