Life as an Experiment
What if you could approach your life through the lens of
“it’s an experiment”?
In a recent conversation someone noted how successful Tap and Write is and wondered how it happened. The questions asked were “what was my mindset around Tap and Write and what did I do to make that happen”.
The short answer is that I started Tap and Write as an experiment. I had no idea whether the idea of combining EFT tapping with therapeutic/reflective writing was going to work or if it would even attract participants.
I’d offered this unique combination of tools to a couple of my private clients and it seemed to be effective as they explored challenges with me. But, I always prefaced using Tap and Write with “let’s just see what happens as we tap and then write”.
When a friend suggested I offer a Tap and Write session publicly, I thought “What have I got to lose? It’ll be an experiment”! I created a Tap and Write process and without expectation or worry about whether the spots would be filled, I offered it to my network.
To my delight, and a bit of surprise, the first session filled up quickly and since then there’s been a steady stream of those joining me in my online Tap and Write Studio.
Each time I create a Tap and Write Circle and put the word out, I feel grateful for the opportunity and return to the idea that “it’s an experiment” - it’ll either fly or it won’t, and it’s ok.
I realize that I’ve begun to adopt the perspective of “this is an experiment” in other areas of my life. Almost a year ago I began writing one word a day in my journal with the idea that this would help me create a consistent journaling practice. It worked.
Looking back to last September when I made the decision to lose weight, my WHY was all about not wanting to feel the way I did a year from then.
I’ve been able to stay with the program, change my mindset and take consistent action, all the while reminding myself daily that it’s an experiment to see how I can take care of myself more effectively as I age.
This experiment has challenged me in ways I wasn’t expecting - but here I am today, still engaged with no plans to quit after I’ve reached a year. Why? Because I have enough evidence now that the changes I’ve been making are ones I want to continue until I’m no longer here.
Life as an experiment has opened up my curiosity and creativity. When we no longer hold onto the outcome and expect it to be a certain way, we have the opportunity to explore and do things differently.
And I view success differently. Success is no longer measured solely on the outcome and specific steps taken to get there, but by embracing the process which is never linear and predictable.
Take Tap and Write as an example. If I thought Tap and Write was successful only when I was able to fill all 6-8 spaces, I’d have quit a few months ago. Instead, I remain curious about what makes this combination of tools effective, and more and more I’m engaging my creativity to help craft sessions that are powerful and enlightening.
When we experiment, we lose the fear that we have to be perfect and get it right all of the time. I am now curious about what I can do - my daily motto, “something, not nothing”, has helped me change my thinking and beliefs about what I can do vs. what I can’t do.
Creating a Tap and Write Circle each month, increasing my daily steps from 5,000 to 8-10,000, publishing my newsletter each week offering carefully crafted writing prompts, increasing my gym activity from 0 to 2 sessions each week - all completed without fear of failure, perfectionism, and with flexibility, curiosity, creativity and a growing confidence.
Another benefit to living life as an experiment is that I focus more on the quality of time I spend on activities rather than the quantity. I used to believe that I could only go to the gym and workout if I had an hour - it didn’t matter what the quality of my workout was like, as long as I pushed myself for an hour it counted.
Now I think about the quality of my workout and adjust it according to the time, energy, space, I have to spend on it.
Unexpectedly, this week I came across a great book called “Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World” by Anne-Laure Le Cunff.
While at a crossroad in her life, Anne asked “What experiment could I run on my own life that would bring me an intrinsic sense of fulfillment, whatever the outcome?”
Tap and Write fills me with joy,
Moving my body and getting steps in each day brings me satisfaction,
Practicing the habits that are helping me lose weight, albeit slowly, bring me hope and peace within -
no matter the outcomes!
Sure, there will be those who thrive on traditional goal setting - making sure they’re choosing S.M.A.R.T. goals, charting a course with dates and times to achieve them. If that’s your jam keep doing it!
But what I love about the idea of an experiment is that when I decide on a goal, I expect there to be ups and downs, things that crop up, new information to consider and process and steps to take but I’m able to pivot, to adjust, to assess without worrying about whether I’m (or my goal is) a success or a failure.
The experiment mindset is useful for long-term, lifetime and shorter goals. Being a mom is a lifetime experiment - my role and responsibilities have changed over time but always the goal has been to figure out how to support my children (and now grandchildren), not lose myself in them, and be the best mom I can be throughout a process that’s filled with ups and downs.
It’s a mindset that frees us from the trappings of limiting beliefs and allows us to explore who we are, what we want and what we’re capable of.
Our fears become smaller as we release the grip on thinking and believing there’s only one way forward and this is the way it has to work or I’ve failed.
We get to decide what the narrative is as we continue to grow and develop or shift into something new.
I wish someone had encouraged me to think about using this mindset as a child. It might have helped me think and feel differently about coming in last at a charity walk instead of using it as evidence that I was a failure. It might have relieved some of the pressure I felt to be a perfect mom or to find the perfect job, or to create a work/life balance that always felt illusive.
What if you could hold the goal and its process gently but firmly in your hands without judgement but instead a thoughtfulness that allows for change with compassion, support, curiosity, creativity and care?
Life as an experiment.
Won’t you join me in The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide where you’re invited to explore themes like this one and write from carefully crafted prompts - and you’ll be the first to know about upcoming Tap and Write Circles.
Won’t you join me? Sign up HERE!
Joan
Whenever you are ready, there are three ways I can support you:
1. Empowerment Coaching 1-1 with Joan
Join me for 1-1 coaching designed to meet you where you’re at in your personal journey to resolving anxiety & stress, updating old beliefs no longer serving you, taking action to move forward, learning who you are as relationships change, navigating change and finding meaning in the messy middle, and more.
2. Tap and Write Circles Designed for Women
As an EFT tapping practitioner and therapeutic/reflective writing guide, I offer specially crafted writing circles that help you transform your stories, invite exploration into your inner world, events, challenges, beliefs and feelings, change perspectives and look at things differently. Won’t you join me?
3. Tap, Write and Transform: The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Journey
Coming in 2025! A 6 week Tap and Write journey designed for women who are navigating through mid-life and beyond and seeking meaningful change, clarity, calm and confidence as they explore, expand, and strengthen their inner wisdom, intuition, self-compassion, energy and self-responsibility.
