What do you really want now you’re in midlife?
I watched this ad recently (I came across it by accident as I was exploring Kristi Keller’s substack, called Wildhood Wanted) - the part that stood out for me the most was when a man jumps into the water and discovers a version of himself who is alive, free, and unconstrained. It is a powerful moment as he looks deeply into his own eyes, touches his face gently, hugging the version of himself he’s longing to be.
It stayed with me and got me asking the not-so-easy question “what do I really want?”. Not, what should I want or what I’m supposed to want - but what do I want deep down in my soul — what’s been hiding within my bones?
At this stage of life, freedom often isn’t about leaving everything behind (although that’s an option), as suggested in the video, but about listening more closely. Trusting what stirs. Allowing ourselves to want what we want — without justification or explanation.
By the time we’ve reached this age and stage in life, we’ve done the practical and responsible things required of us. Now, it’s about leaning into what’s calling us, what’s been quietly waiting for us, not what’s expected of us.
A new year is coming up and with it the traditional planning and reflection of the year gone by. But, before making your lists, setting goals and intentions to live by, what would it be like to pause, just for a moment, and ask yourself “what do I really want?”.
Tap and Write: Listening for What You Really Want
If we were tapping and writing together, I’d suggest begin by tapping on the side of the hand “Even though I may/may not have some ideas about what I really want, I’m open to listening with curiosity and compassion.” Continue tapping through all the points, inviting curiosity and compassion to join you as you explore what you want in the New Year.
Then, write without censoring or editing, starting with this sentence:
“If I trusted my inner wisdom to guide me, I would allow myself to want…”
Write for 3-5 minutes or until you have nothing left to say. Notice how you feel and what’s emerging within.
If this reflection speaks to you and you’d like to continue exploring questions like these, journaling prompts, and a gentle self-inquiry with support, I invite you to join me in The WISER Woman’s Guide, where we connect with our intuition, nurture self-compassion, and create space to listen to what’s been quietly waiting within us.
Thanks for joining me.
Thanks for reading!
Happy writing!
Joan
