Turning Fear into Possibility: Tap and Write for Midlife Women
Emily Dickinson said “I dwell in Possibility – A fairer House than Prose!”
Why Possibility Feels Small in Midlife
As a woman in midlife, when I look ahead along a shortened timeline, some possibilities seem out of reach or impractical now, given that aging brings with it health challenges, changing roles, my creaky knees, and the feeling that time is marching on more quickly than I’d like it to.
When did the doors to some possibilities close or seem suddenly to be on their way to being shut?
Cultural Messages About Aging Shape Our Choices
I’ve been reflecting on this change recently and wondering:
How much of our cultural beliefs about aging affect how we approach midlife and beyond and the way we live our lives into our later years?
Are we detrimentally impacted, albeit unconsciously, by our cultural obsession with the pursuit of youthfulness or the belief that getting old is an unfortunate aspect of life that is unavoidable but feared and dreaded?
How does all of it influence our thinking and the actions we take to stimulate our minds, strengthen our bodies, stay mobile and move forward, and enjoy life?
What motivates us to live fully, even with the limitations aging can bring, or shrink into a deep well of darkness where we’re forgotten and unseen?
It all begs the question: Are you inviting possibility in, to sit with you at the table like a welcome guest, or have you thrown it out on its ear and shut the door behind it?
Shaping Our Language - Fear to Possibility
I’ve caught myself making plans “before I can no longer travel”, or “to strike it off my bucket list before I get too old or die”. Do you hear the language? There’s a tone hidden in the words, a feeling behind each one that reeks of fear and a need to control before it’s too late.
I had to ask myself “Do I want to make decisions from a place of fear? What else could be true?”
Welcoming Possibility with Tap and Write
As I was creating the 3rd part of the August Tap and Write Circle recently, I introduced the idea of inviting possibility in to sit at the table with us as a special guest, ready to have a conversation, to share ideas and possible next steps.
This metaphor is simple and yet powerful, opening us up to exploring what else could be true from a place of curiosity, compassion and self-care.
The first and second parts of Tap and Write often focus on acknowledging what is, whether it’s a challenge, an unwanted thought or belief, a recurring feeling, etc., before then exploring under the surface to discover a different perspective or way of seeing the issue or concern.
Why Inviting Challenges to the Table Opens New Doors
Too often we’re skilled at pushing the uncomfortable away, sometimes for very good reasons. What I’ve learned, however, is that when I acknowledge and welcome my challenge to sit at the table with me, instead of pushing it away, treating it like a pariah whose only intent is to make my life miserable, I see through a tough exterior to find a whole host of possibilities.
This is the essence of Tap and Write – a space where calm bodies and minds explore our inner worlds, where we dive below the surface to find understanding, acceptance, and insight as we face change and transition; where perfection, comparison and our desire for external control is eased and where the realm of possibilities emerge on the page as if by magic.
Possibility. How will you welcome it in and create space for it at your table?
Thanks for reading. I appreciate you!
And, if you’d like to explore how to shift from fear and limitation into curiosity and possibility, Tap and Write can be your doorway. Each month in my Tap and Write Circles, we create space for calm, compassion, and the wisdom that comes when we put pen to paper after tapping. Or, work with me 1-1!
And, I invite you to join my newsletter, The WISER Woman’s Guide — you’ll receive regular reflective prompts, encouragement for navigating midlife, and updates about upcoming Tap and Write Circles.
