Building Resilience in Midlife: Strong, Healthy, and Confident Now and Beyond Midlife
Most mornings I sit on the edge of my bed and begin the process of waking my body up before standing and then moving. With knees that are moderately arthritic and more often than not sore down the sides of them, I begin with ankle and knee rolls, wiggling my toes, and leg lifts to encourage cracking, all to get the fluids moving after a night of rest.
As a woman in midlife, gone are the days of bounding out of bed, taking for granted a well-oiled, supple, youthful body that could step onto the floor and move with ease right away.
Even after letting my knees and legs know I’m ready to get out of bed, I’m always surprised about the cracks and noises that my toes, calves and knees make as I take my first steps. And each day I say a little prayer, reminding myself that I’m still here, grateful for each step and the crackles that accompany me.
As I healed from a recent sore back and hip, I was again reminded about the importance of my weight loss journey and with it how imperative it is to move and strengthen our bodies, despite discomfort and even some pain, especially as we age and midlife descends upon us.
New Altra Runners - I finally found a pair of runners that are comfortable. Knees that are battered after a fall last year and took a long time to heal. I’m so grateful for them!
I recently discovered Dr. Vonda Wright, an orthopedic surgeon and authority on performance, longevity and women’s health on Instagram. Her recent book, Unbreakable: A Woman’s Guide to Aging With Power, is full of information about how to increase longevity and improve our health as a woman, whether in perimenopause, menopause or post-menopause. She backs it all up with science and research and speaks from years of experience as a surgeon treating patients in her private practice.
This podcast interview, however, was what drew me in the most and what has inspired me to want, more than ever, to continue and re-commit to the weight loss and health journey I started exactly a year ago. I suggest listening to it – you’ll hear the emotion, the energy, the compassion that she’s had throughout her careers, caring for the dying, treating patients, and for her own need to take care of herself.
Dr. Wright’s passion for treating the whole person and not just their bones, fractures, osteoporosis etc. as an orthopedic doctor, is inspiring – and unusual in our medical system, where most specialists treat only the conditions within their specialties.
She, on the other hand, has made it her mission to support her patients by being an advocate for exercise and movement to strengthen their bodies, teach them to eat well and use nutrition to build muscle so their bones are strong, checks in with them to ensure sleep is adequate and chronic stress is addressed, and recommends supplements that enhance our cells as we age.
Our bodies are complex, and I don’t pretend to understand much of how they work, especially the intricate details of the changes we experience with hormones and the many systems within us that keep us alive. Nick Design @nickshuperdesign
What I do know is that the more I can do now as a post menopausal, aging woman to increase my health and longevity, I should be doing it. And here’s why:
According to Dr. Wright, for every pound of extra fat on our bodies, there is 9 lbs of additional pressure on our joints. No wonder my knees crackle and pop and take awhile to wake up and get going! Every pound of fat I can lose will ease the load and stress on my knees and the only way to do this is to follow my program consistently;
Increasing my strength and building lean muscle will allow me to lift groceries out of the car and carry them up the stairs with strong legs, knees and hips as I age;
Increasing mobility and balance will allow me to recover if I trip and may save me from a hip fracture, which we know can amount to an early demise or even death when we’re in our 70’s, 80’s and beyond;
I want to be able to walk upstairs or uphill and know that I’ll recover in a reasonable amount of time - including some aerobic activity is important, although my least favorite of all!
There’s more in Dr. Wright’s book that’s worth reading, but the last one I’ll mention is one I’ve been working on over the last year and love that she calls it “building mental resilience.” (P. 185 in Unbreakable).
Dr. Wright describes it as challenging yourself to do hard things, both physically and mentally. It means shifting out of fear and complacency into resilience, something that has tested my confidence and made me question my abilities and identity in the past year on this journey.
With decades behind me, I’ve already done hard things in my life, but I think one of the hardest things was to make a commitment to challenging and changing old weight loss and health patterns that have included deep limiting beliefs, thoughts and feelings; and then to follow through no matter how uncomfortable I’ve felt along the way.
Often during the first few months of my weight loss and health journey last year, I questioned whether I could be successful – not only at losing fat and weight but at going the distance. I’d always viewed myself as a failure when it came to looking after my weight and health.
Now that I’ve unravelled emotional eating and devalued diet culture’s grip on me, I see that I was tangled up in an identity that weighed me down - and no longer applies. It's a year later and, while I continue to work through aspects of this journey, quitting isn’t even a consideration.
With a long history of being told I wasn’t athletic due to weight, I held myself back from physical activities, always afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up, telling myself “I can’t”.
These fears, backed by evidence from childhood, ran in the background for decades. When I think about all the opportunities with friends I missed out on because of this I feel sad and wonder how things might have been different had I known what I know now. And, hindsight is 20/20.
But this year, I’ve been challenging the “emotional sabotage” Dr. Wright speaks of in her book. I’m finding ways to see myself differently, to create a different identity and strengthen my inner resilience.
In the last two weeks, I’ve been able to hang from a bar at the gym for 10 seconds and then add 6 knees lifts to it. Even a month ago I would not have believed I could do it – I told myself I was too heavy and would never be able to hold myself up. What a revelation it was for me to accomplish it and know that I am strong enough to support this body, mentally and physically.
It's not lost on me that each one of us is at a different place with our mindset, physical strength, and abilities. There are women older and younger than I who are far fitter and much stronger; there are those who aren’t.
Ultimately, it’s important to meet ourselves where we are and to ask, “what can I do now – today - that will inch me forward, increase my health and wellbeing, and help me feel confident as I age?”
Something is better than nothing.
As for these knees, I’ll keep walking and strengthening them, encouraging them to hold me up and support my way forward, one step at a time. If there comes a time when they let me know they can’t, I will have done what I could and trust there’s a still a way forward.
Resilience isn’t just about connecting with your body – it’s about our mindset, our heart, and the way we step into this season of our lives.
How are you “holding yourself up” today? What will you do more of to increase resilience as you age? I’d love to know – reply below or email me at coach@joanridsdel.com.
Thanks for reading.
With gratitude,
Joan
And, if you’re ready to build more resilience in midlife, to walk along this journey with me and others:
✨ Join The WISER Woman’s Guide — my free newsletter filled with midlife journaling prompts, resilience practices, and inspiration to help you thrive after 50. [Sign up here].
✨ Try a Tap and Write Circle — a powerful combination of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and reflective writing designed to release old patterns, reduce stress, and create space for lasting change. [Learn more here]. Won’t you join me in the new series of Tap and Write beginning in October 2025?
