Self-Compassion for Midlife Women: Taming Your Inner Critic with Care
Explore how women over 50 can use self-compassion to release self-doubt, increase motivation, and live more fully with purpose and care.
Nature’s Changing Season
The third letter in W.I.S.E.R. stands for Self-Compassion, something I’m finally getting the hang of after decades of wrestling with an annoying but powerful inner critic.
In addition to Wisdom and Intuition, Self-compassion is an important resource that has the ability to change the trajectory of our lives, shifting us from feeling stuck to moving forward, dismissing our strengths to acknowledging them, fearing our gifts to using them with purpose and care.
The inner critic, a part of us that’s often come about from an earlier time in our lives, wields a big stick that repeatedly reminds us of our “failures” and perceived shortcomings. It’s voice is familiar and strong, showing up to repeat the words and phrases we’ve adopted as truth, whether they’re ours or not. “I’m not _____ enough” is one, another is “I can’t”, and still another is “I’ll never…” or “I always…”.
The antidote to this part of us is not to try getting rid of it but to acknowledge it, to listen for the beliefs or feelings hiding behind the words, to validate its intent to keep us safe in some way, and then invite it to lay down its swords and stop the fight.
As we begin to realize we don’t need to hear the critic’s refrain any longer, self-compassion is there to shore us up - not let us off the hook, but to support us in positive ways. Compassion motivates us, not from a place of fear, but from a place of understanding that shifts us towards movement that’s reasonable, doable and away from rebellion, trauma, burnout, and self-loathing.
One of my favorite phrases is “something, not nothing”. When my client substituted this phrase for the negative, judgmental phrases her inner critic bombarded her with daily, her productivity went up, she felt better about herself and she began to gather evidence that she is capable of doing hard things and reaching her goals.
As I read this post outlining the “…7 Things That Truly Matter in Life”, I thought about how important self-compassion is. I don’t want to reach “my quiet hour” wishing I’d been kinder to myself, regretting that I let outdated opinions and fear from my inner critic stop me from loving, feeling joy, “someday” doing the things I dream of.
Changing the patterns that rob us of confidence and agency are within our grasp. While it might feel hard or clunky at first, the more we practice flipping those critical thoughts and beliefs into compassionate ones, the easier and more automatic it becomes.
Thanks for reading!
Joan
Won’t you join me?
If you’d like guidance and gentle support in this process, my Tap and Write sessions combine reflective writing with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to help you transform your inner dialogue, release stuck energy, and reconnect with your strengths.
You can start by joining The WISER Woman’s Guide newsletter, where I share weekly prompts, inspiration, and tools to cultivate self-compassion and more —practical strategies to help you navigate midlife with ease and purpose.
Together, we can shift from self-criticism to self-compassion, from hesitation to action, and from “someday” to living fully now.
