Phenomenal Woman

Photo by Denise Johnson

Maya Angelou said “I’m a woman Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman, That’s me.”  (Watch here:  https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=248396640653105)

It’s easy to see other women as phenomenal – the confidence and self-acceptance they exude as they speak, enter a room, connect and communicate without bravado or fanfare.  They make being phenomenal look easy, “no big deal”, natural.

As I watched Maya Angelou in the video, I thought about all the years I struggled with confidence and felt anything but phenomenal. 

I wasn’t the woman who walked into a room, commanding it, or the woman who had “swagger in her hips” and didn’t care that she wasn’t “a fashion model size”. 

I was the one who quietly entered the room, tried to hide her hips and size, smiled and spoke softly, the good girl, always turning anger towards herself so no one would see or get hurt by the feelings bottled inside.   

And despite myself, over time and with sprinkles of luck thrown in, I’m here, in this place where I am more willing to see my strengths and afford me the same compassion, I believe others deserve. 

There’s something about time and age that lends itself to this, Clarity about who we are and what’s important seems to merge with more ease as life is viewed through a different lens. 

And yet, I am no where near feeling phenomenal as Maya Angelou so beautifully spoke about.   

Why is it that we don’t see ourselves as the woman others see? 

What prevents us from embracing ourselves fully and stepping into the world as a phenomenal woman? 

To explore all of this and to write about the theme Phenomenal Woman (in my writing class), I ventured out of my comfort zone and asked for feedback from both long standing and newer friends and family.  I asked them to share how they see me, what might be considered phenomenal or interesting or true about me.

I wondered if I could accept the feedback – after all, I was taught not to brag, which translated into not talking about one’s strengths at all, and certainly never asking for it. 

I received beautiful messages and with each one took a moment to breathe it in, savour the sentiment, ground myself in the thoughtfulness of each word. 

I don’t see myself as a Phenomenal Woman – yet, but I love having a mirror held up in front of me to help me see what others see and feel as I walk into the room.

What’s written below is a compilation of the messages I received.  Even if I haven’t quoted you exactly word for word, each one of you (you know who you are) will recognize yourself in the writing. 

Please know that I am grateful and blessed to have received them.

Photo by Tim Mossholder

Here you stand, you phenomenal woman.

Even when you don’t believe it, we see you for who you are.

We recognize your kindness, the empathy you share so generously,  

a wonderful guide and mentor, an energy GIVER, not taker.

We’ve taken note of your humility, inviting others to search for their truth in the same way you seek your own truth, inviting them to let their guard down, to speak their truth as you do.      

We see your loyalty and the way you’re able to make others feel comfortable, the way your eyes glisten with tears in sharing happiness or sadness

Genuine, resilient is how we witness you. 

We’ve noticed your spirit is strong – none of the challenges you’ve faced have been able to break it

No, not your brother’s death or family illness – we see your strength and the way you inspire us to acknowledge the pain and yet continue to live through it   

We feel your support; kindness radiates from you to all lucky enough to be in your orbit.

And finally, we value your lived experience and the way you share from the heart, creating a safe space with your quiet reassuring, empowering presence, letting us know there’s nothing wrong with us.

There you stand, phenomenal woman.

Thanks for reading and to the Phenomenal Women who shared their thoughts with me! 

If you’d like to explore this theme, Phenomenal Woman, join me in my weekly newsletter, The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide where you’ll be invited to write from prompts I carefully craft for you. 

Joan

Whenever you are ready, there are three ways I can support you:

1. Empowerment Coaching 1-1 with Joan
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2. Tap and Write Circles Designed for Women
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3. Tap, Write and Transform: The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Journey
Coming in 2025! A 6 week Tap and Write journey designed for women who are navigating through mid-life and beyond and seeking meaningful change, clarity, calm and confidence as they explore, expand, and strengthen their inner wisdom, intuition, self-compassion, energy and self-responsibility. Get on the waitlist!