Simplicity, Patience & Compassion
“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~ Lao Tzu
I was sharing my weight loss journey with some friends the other day and realized Lao Tzu’s 3 greatest treasures are exactly what I’ve been learning and putting into practice.
Has the last 6 months been easy? No, I’d say it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster learning to change my mindset and implement simple principles to weight loss, become patient with the process and myself, and begin to have some compassion for all the years and moments that I’ve struggled with weight and felt like a failure.
My reason for beginning this program (@gleanapp) and working with my coach, Lisa-Anne (@lisaanne_campbell), was because I was tired of feeling what I was feeling - uncomfortable in my body at an uncomfortable weight, I wanted to change what I was doing, and how I’d been approaching weight loss for decades that clearly hadn’t worked.
I’m about to facilitate a Tap and Write Circle on March 21st, 2025, all about your WHY because it’s foundational to anything you want to change. Writing down Why something is important to you gives you clarity and purpose to not just think about what you want, but to give life to the changes you desire. It’s a simple, yet powerful tool that changes over time but becomes your guiding compass.
What I realize looking back is that the diet industry makes weight loss complicated and invites participants to choose an “all or nothing” way of living and being. I was either on a plan or off, beholden to eating my emotions and bingeing because I couldn’t sustain such a low number of calories over time and couldn’t sit with the emotions I didn’t want to feel.
My only focus was weight loss - no wonder when the diet plans I followed were hyper-focused on the number on the scale and measured success only by those numbers going down.
The industry survives by setting us up for failure and banks on us gaining any weight we’ve lost so that we return for another try, only to fail again and again.
That was my history along with so many others I know. The dollars I spent, not only on weight loss plans but on books about how to lose weight, was astronomical and regrettable. The emotional weight I carried was often indescribable and painful.
Photo by Tom Hermans
So, the decision to join Glean last year wasn’t made lightly, knowing I was spending more money on a weight loss program. However, I was careful this time and tuned in to the messages my coach and the creators of Glean shared on Instagram. I listened to Lisa-Anne’s podcast and her story and it wasn’t long before I thought “well, if this woman can change a lifetime of failed dieting perhaps I can too.”
In addition, I will say that I’d spent time prior to joining Glean working with a therapist to address old issues and outdated beliefs (and some trauma) that kept me returning to the feelings that drove me to the fridge.
When I found Lisa-Anne, I was ready - there comes a time when one has to take action, rather than focus solely on the emotional weight being carried.
To be successful with long/life term weight loss, simplicity has been key. Here are the things I’ve made simpler:
To lose fat you must be a calorie deficit. I’m managing my calories in a completely different way than I used to. At Glean, I’m encouraged to eat as many of them as possible while remaining in a calorie deficit - it’s the only way to sustain consistency and not feel deprived. And, there’s nothing to say that I can’t eat more calories when I’m on vacation or have a special event coming up.
Although one doesn’t have to track or log calories at Glean, I chose to. I swore I’d never do it again after decades of counting calories and points, but I dug in to the resistance I’d been feeling and decided to allow myself to see it as a task that is temporary and useful for this process.
I weigh myself daily and look at the average of scale weight over a week. NOW, the numbers are just numbers, information. Going up on the scale only means I may have had a meal the day before that’s higher in salt - I’m learning to simplify and approach the numbers with ease and I have more understanding of what my body does with food. Tracking, food, scale weight - I no longer make it mean anything more than just information to help me make decisions from an informed and logical place instead of an emotional, messy, overwhelming place.
Eating more protein has been important for me during this process. With a focus on protein, I don’t worry about the other macronutrients like carbs and fats - they seem to balance themselves out.
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea last September so sleep has been a priority for me. I don’t like wearing a mask and it’s taken me 6 months to get used to it. I’m now noticing a difference in how I feel. Even though the difference is subtle, I’m encouraged to keep going with it and ensure I get to bed at a reasonable time. Sleep impacts our health and when we get a good sleep and feel more rested in the morning, we’re more likely to manage everything else in our lives more easily, logically and with less emotional overload.
I began this journey after letting my fitness go. Gradually over the months I’ve been encouraged to increase my steps, which not only helps improve our physical health but also our mental health. Moving our bodies is key to overall well-being. I’m now up to 10,000 steps daily, with 7,000 the minimum. The increase has been gradual and underwhelming - I’ve simply asked myself “I wonder if I can add an extra 200 steps in today?” and then given myself time to accomplish it.
“Something, not nothing” is my daily mantra for each area of my life. It’s simple, easy to remember and it reminds me that I’m building habits that will sustain me over a lifetime - no longer do I think in terms of just losing this weight and getting to the end goal.
I went back to the gym - “something, not nothing” allowed me to start with one session a week and now I’m back up to 3 strength training sessions a week. My cardio is improving. I’m stronger. I am sleeping better.
It all fits together like the pieces of a puzzle. Simple, easy steps, that build in the evidence that I can lose weight, be stronger, walk more.
Patience has been a more challenging principle to learn but it’s coming along.
It’s easy to make comparisons when I see others lose weight faster than I am. I’m learning to stay in my own lane and appreciate that my body is unique to me. When I felt that this process wasn’t working fast enough, Lisa-Anne challenged me - “isn’t working in comparison to what?” If I was comparing this process to other weight loss diets I’d been on, I might be able to lose the weight but I had no evidence that I could keep it off - and this was what I really wanted to accomplish.
After some thought and digging in to my WHY, the additional question I’ve had to keep in front of mind is “What if I’m losing weight at just the right pace for My body?” In that case, there’s no need to compare is there?
I struggled with patience while I battled a shin splint late last year. Fortunately, I took my physiotherapist’s advice and did the exercises. It forced me to slow down and take a hard look at my mindset - my body was doing the best she could and being angry or frustrated wasn’t going to speed recovery up. Deep breathes and daily exercises helped me to get better.
And, I’m deeply aware of how my thyroid impacts my life. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s and Hypothyroidism many year ago - through these months I have become even more attuned and patient with this tiny gland that controls our metabolism and so many functions within the body. Each day as I tune in to how I’m feeling, I try to meet myself where I’m at - and this is a huge change from previous years.
Finally, there’s compassion, an ongoing process of shifting how I talk to myself about weight, daily habits, the wobbles I experience, and life in general.
I’m grateful for the coaching and support I receive as I’m reminded to be kind to myself without letting myself off the hook. I’m now better at checking in and noticing my inner critic’s voice, at balancing tiredness with moving my body and getting steps in or going to the gym, at letting go of the “all or nothing” thinking I used to do.
And, the result, the outcome of working on patience, compassion and simplicity? More confidence that what I’m doing is going to help me grow and develop, be stronger as I age, and happier within myself.
I’ve been able to share all of this with you because I’ve kept track of my ups and downs in my journal, which I write in daily. This is the beauty of journaling - a daily note to remind us of what we’re doing, WHY we’re doing it, and how we’re doing it! Each challenge has been noted, documented and is there to look back on when we need a check-in, a reminder of the work we’ve done and what we need to keep working on.
Thanks for reading!
I’d love to hear your stories of the changes you are making - how you’re keeping them simpler, how you’re becoming more patient with yourself and the process, how compassion is supporting you as you make these changes!
You can let me know below in the comments or connect with me privately HERE.
Join me join me in my weekly newsletter, The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide where you’ll be invited to explore themes like this one and write from carefully crafted prompts - and you’ll be the first to know about upcoming Tap and Write Circles.
Won’t you join me? Sign up HERE!
Joan
Whenever you are ready, there are three ways I can support you:
1. Empowerment Coaching 1-1 with Joan
Join me for 1-1 coaching designed to meet you where you’re at in your personal journey to resolving anxiety & stress, updating old beliefs no longer serving you, taking action to move forward, learning who you are as relationships change, navigating change and finding meaning in the messy middle, and more.
2. Tap and Write Circles Designed for Women
As an EFT tapping practitioner and therapeutic/reflective writing guide, I offer specially crafted writing circles that help you transform your stories, invite exploration into your inner world, events, challenges, beliefs and feelings, change perspectives and look at things differently. Won’t you join me?
3. Tap, Write and Transform: The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Journey
Coming in 2025! A 6 week Tap and Write journey designed for women who are navigating through mid-life and beyond and seeking meaningful change, clarity, calm and confidence as they explore, expand, and strengthen their inner wisdom, intuition, self-compassion, energy and self-responsibility.
