When a Chapter Closes, Another is Written
I’ve written so much over the years about my struggle with weight, weight loss and how I’ve felt about my body. I’ve shared with you how I’ve stumbled and fallen, picked myself up, and then stumbled again, over, and over. It’s not been easy, this journey to self-love and being able to care for oneself in the way I have always wanted to. The journey’s felt never-ending, fraught with contradictory traps set by both the diet industry/culture and the anti-diet movement. It’s often felt confusing and, if I’m honest, soul destroying.
In 2022, I shared with you how challenging the year was as we battled through family health issues. Arising from the chaos, I discovered lingering: I walked and exercised as much as I could, sought out spiritual coaching (still ongoing), and once again, realized that I had more work to do around emotional eating and weight. Would it never end? Would the scale always reflect this symptom of something more happening that I wasn’t able to reach on my own?
Now, I know logically that life isn’t linear – we uncover and work through something only to find that down the road we must return to what was familiar, painful, and uncomfortable because “here it is again”!
The situation or circumstances may have changed but suddenly we realize there’s another aspect or part that feels safe enough to reveal itself. This is the beauty of transformation and a testament to the progress we make when we’re ready and open.
It’s an invitation to growth and expansion.
I believe that in and of itself, eating with an element of emotion, isn’t a bad thing. And yet, my experience of emotional eating has always been fraught with and ended in anxiety, stress, guilt. It’s true – it isn’t really about the food and yet our focus becomes food when we feel out of control, don’t want to feel our feelings and know that food, if nothing else, is comforting and tasty for the first minute or two.
To calm emotional eating so that we’re not turning to food when we don’t want to, we must re-connect with deeper parts of ourselves, often hidden out of site or buried in the past. And at the root of our food and body issues there’s a fundamental need for safety that somehow gets lost, misplaced, or was absent during our early formative years, youth, and even adulthood, through no fault of our own. We’re held hostage by our subconscious mind that can’t imagine giving up control or letting go without the tools and support to make it happen.
At the end of 2022 and during 2023, I was again reminded that the Universe brings people and solutions to us when we’re ready. At the height of my relapse into thinking that entering the dark door of dieting again and self-abuse was a good idea, I made the decision to stop, take a breath and begin (again) the journey of self-discovery.
What would I find working with Carolina as we ventured into the depths of my subconscious?
How would I recognize my intuitive voice vs the voice in my head that is always trying to be logical as I worked with Marie?
What else would I need to finally be at peace with who I am and allow myself to become more of who I want to become, including a slimmer version of myself?
Transforming…
Thank goodness our work is never done! “Body of Mine” was written after an intense coaching session that helped me reach into the recesses of my mind to reconnect with my body. After decades of focusing on logic and living in my head, it was a relief to know my body is still with me and has been waiting for me to move back in!
I learned that the inappropriate actions of others were nothing to do with me and the size of my body. What a relief after all these years hearing the whispers of a tiny voice raising doubt and throwing me to the wolves.
No matter how old we seem to get, our voices and stories from the past can get in the way and make us blind to the truth.
“Allow” emerged from deep within after a session to explore “sadness”, a feeling I’d felt for as long as I can remember and seemed impossible to shake. It was there when I abused food and overstuffed my body or when I did something to offend someone – it wasn’t the same as the sadness I felt when someone I loved passed away. It was an unexplainable feeling that didn’t seem rooted in anything or anyone. The image of a coffin in Allow was powerful and as I allowed my subconscious mind to do all the work in this process called The Heartstream Process (created by Carolina Kerridge), I emerged no longer an empty vessel but filled with love – for me. Imagine how that felt after not ever being able to feel a deep love for myself!
Much more happened in 2023 during the coaching/counselling I received. I’m better at connecting with my Intuition and inner wisdom. I’m finding my way along a spiritual path and allowing myself to explore what I can’t see but seems to guide me when I open the channel to listen and connect deeply within my belly. I’m finally able to quiet the chatter and tap into the feeling of being supported by a powerful force that has been there for many lifetimes and iterations of me. I love that I’m now discovering a whole new realm to guide and support me throughout the rest of my time on Earth.
Apam, Ghana, West Africa. A magical sunset. Akwaaba - Welcome!
Travelling to Ghana, West Africa, in November, had a profound effect on me. The intense heat taught me patience with my body as my feet blew up into balloons and sweat became an accepted, inevitable, daily occurrence.
Connecting with family I’d not seen for over 30 years was amazing.
Acceptance for size and weight is what I’ve longed for in this part of the world.
Receiving respect as an older woman helped me connect with the wiser woman, the crone, within. I felt permission to take up space and voice who I am with confidence, unapologetically.
Such gifts were freely given, natural, easy to accept. It’s just how it was. I soaked it all in, like a sponge, praying I’d hold on to it all.
The Journey Ahead…
Returning to life here with these gifts and so much to be grateful for, I began to look ahead into my 66th year around the Sun.
What would 2024 bring and how could I become even more of the woman I want to be?
With a review of 2023 complete, I set some intentions for the year ahead.
Coaching has been my privilege and joy. So, I’m continuing to coach - mainly women who want to learn how to reduce or let go of the need to feel anxious and stressed, who are ready to become empowered by changing core beliefs that no longer serve them, and who want to learn what self-care looks and feels like for them.
My favorite clients are women in their 40’s-60’s who are ready to do the work, committed to changing within, have a deep desire to learn and grow into being the woman they’ve wanted to be, and who have a spiritual side to them or practice that supports them throughout our work together.
I bring to each session my magic bag of tools and techniques to help facilitate each woman’s unique journey within. I love to see what happens when we reach into the subconscious mind where change really begins and when practical steps and actions round out the process.
Are you this woman, ready to work with me in 2024, saying YES to honouring a deep desire to live your life empowered and confident, and release whatever’s been keeping you small and stuck?
I’m a Writer, I’ve decided! For years I’ve been told to write more and write a book, I have a gift, a nack for putting words together - I didn’t really believe it but writing has become so much more important to me lately. So, this year I’m writing a book! I’ve been gifted a writing course and am excited to getting started! It’s a big project but I’m ready and will share more about it as time goes on!
When I look back on 2024 as I’ve just done with 2023, I’ll note how easy it’s been for me to move my body, gain more strength, and release whatever weight I’ve left to let go of. It’ll have been a year of implementing the habits that have led to me sleep better, eat better (adding more protein) and live by the 80/20 “rule”, take time to tune in and connect with my guides and spiritual team. I’ll have created more memories with family and friends as I’ve carved out regular space to hang out with them.
My words for the year are “Allow. Space. Create. Calm.” I’m allowing my subconcious mind to shift as I continue to address whatever comes up to keep me from creating - my space, my life, and the woman I want to become. I’m wanting space to write and create through my hands. I’m wanting Calm as I wander through each day.
And You?
What will you write in your next Chapter?
What were the highlights of 2023?
What are your intentions/goals for 2024? What’s ready to emerge and transform?
Have you chosen a word or words or a phrase that fits for 2024? Why those words?
I’d love to hear from you – reply below or connect with me privately at coach@joanridsdel.com. You can also go to my website and let me know you’d like to book a free chat and talk about the year ahead, who you want to become or what’s on your mind.
I now have space for working with you in my practice and can’t wait to walk beside you as you experience transformation and love for who you are and who you are becoming.
As always, there’s no pressure to work with me – we’ll know if it’s the right time and if we’re a good fit when we connect!
With gratitude and love,
Medasi (Thank you)!
Joan
P.S. Word of mouth referrals are the best! Please refer someone you believe would benefit from the work I do and the transformation that can happen!
P.P.S. Please read and share widely!
