I stepped off the scale this morning - I’m up just slightly but down overall this week. My sigh was not one of impatience at the number - I no longer worry about those - but because I felt in that moment the weight of time, that feeling of knowing that this process was going to take time, more time than I would like it to. I had to remind myself that things work better when my mind and body are aligned and I allow and trust that whatever time it’s going to take to release this extra weight is worth the daily, consistent action I’m now taking.

And yet, there’s this impatience lurking in the background. It would be easy to let that part of me run wild and take over. I know how it goes then - that first thought of impatience (with lots of swears in it) would lead to the second thought with more swears and every thought thereafter would take me down a rabbit hole filled with food I don’t want or need to eat, recriminations, more swears and really, nothing good.

I know I’m not alone in feeling impatience with growing, building, creating, or wanting something that deep in your bones you know will be amazing.

A small business owner, a coach building her practice, a musician wanting to get music out into the world - me, feeling passionate for the first time in a long time about this new venture called Tap and Write. We all understand and feel that feeling that has us wondering why it takes so long to be seen, heard or attract more amazing clients when it feels so right to us.

Impatience strikes when life throes us curve balls like my friend waiting for a diagnosis and then surgery, or my son wanting his achilles to heal so he can wear two shoes and can ditch the boot he’s been wearing for months, or the time my husband had open heart and lung surgery that took 10 hours and seemed a lifetime before we received a call saying he was ok.

This feeling seems to lurk, ready to pounce during those moments of tiredness and overwhelm, or when feeling rushed as the Holidays approach and we wonder how we’re going to get everything done.

How many of us feel frustrated at all the expectations we place on ourselves or have been sent our way by others, past and present, unable or unwilling to let them go?

How many of us grieve, especially during the Holidays, feeling impatient with all the hype and joy we’re supposed to be feeling when we’ve lost someone or something important to us?

I’ve noticed in those moments of impatience that this feeling is often paired with others - anger, rage, grief, loss, uncertainty, excitement, worry, to name a few. And, it reminds me of what the “messy middle” can feel like when we’re in transition, between yesterday and tomorrow, the past and the future.

Our feelings are important and we should always pay attention to them - they’re our signals to let us know we’re ok or we’re not, and they’re great sources of information for us when we take the time to stop and honour them.

We also know that they can also be fleeting, here one minute and gone the next only to be replaced with others. When I stepped off the scale and felt impatient I took a moment to feel it before shifting my thoughts - I invited patience and calm in to replace it and then let it go through writing about how excited I am to be on this path.

When my brother was murdered, waves of grief and rage would surge through my body - I learned to allow them, to sit with them, to hold tightly the arms of my chair until they subsided and I could think about, write about, and remember how grateful I was to have known him as long as I did.

Impatience. Feel it, allow it, learn from it. Write, move your body to release it, shift your thoughts, remind yourself that there is choice and agency, that there is no place for “all-or-nothing” and perfection no longer serves.

What will you do with impatience when it arrives?

Won’t you join me in The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide for some reflective writing prompts, shared each week? You can join at the bottom of this page by entering your email.

And, if you’d like to join me and other amazing women in the Tap and Write Studio for Tap and Write Away Your Stress this coming week, register HERE.

Thanks for reading. I’d love to know how you manage this part of you that feels like impatience! Let me know by leaving a comment below or you can email me privately HERE.

Thanks for reading!

Joan

The Gift of Impatience

Transitioning into a New Year

Friendship