Something, Not Nothing: Letting Go of the All-or-Nothing Mindset in Midlife
A quiet morning with a journal, coffee, and candle—this post invites you to slow down, reflect, and explore small, steady steps toward change.
When women in midlife come to me for coaching, they’re often carrying an all-or-nothing mindset. If they can’t do it perfectly, they feel they’ve failed. It applies to weight loss, exercise or movement, taking care of themselves, and a host of other challenges.
In coaching and my Tap and Write work, we slow this pattern down.
We look for small, simple choices instead of huge leaps or dramatic overhauls.
“Something, not nothing.”
This is where real change begins. It’s within this mantra that a new identity emerges. It’s where I focus my attention personally to help me become more of the woman I want to be as I age. It can be the catalyst to finding underlying beliefs that no longer serve us.
So we slow down:
Gathering evidence in micro-moments.
Experiencing new feelings,
Implementing tiny strategies,
Carrying them, holding them
Becoming…
Releasing fragility,
Learning new strength,
Leaning into revised patterns,
Not this – or that
But somewhere in the middle,
Shades of grey.
One.
Step.
Closer.
Becoming…
Pausing to listen,
Waiting to respond,
Breathing to calm,
Connecting within,
Trusting inner guidance,
Choosing self,
Becoming…
More of who you want to be.
Tap. Reflect. Write.
What is one something you can do today?
Write it down. Notice it. Honor it.
This is how change begins - one step at a time.
Thanks for reading.
Joan
Join me in the upcoming Tap, Write, Transform: Rewrite Your Weight and Body Stories this March—a guided way to explore small, steady changes, build self-trust, and move beyond all-or-nothing thinking. Spaces are limited. For more information click HERE.
Sign up for The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide newsletter for weekly inspiration, reflective prompts, and support for navigating midlife transitions with more ease and self-compassion.
You can also find me on Substack for additional exercises, stories, and insights to guide your journey.
Take the step. Let’s connect.
