Exploring Transformative Thresholds: A Journey Within

Step across the blue bridge, a threshold between here and there.

How often have you felt yourself standing on the threshold of change?

Reverend Sara LaWall said:

“A [threshold is] a space to imagine a new way, and new self. Not moving or pushing but sitting and cultivating… [the goal] is to allow you space and time to reflect on your past, present, and future. To imagine a new beginning…”

I didn’t think of myself standing on a threshold when I decided to invest in myself last year and take the first step to losing weight, finally and for good. I had been through decades of standing on a weight loss threshold so many times but each time failed. I didn’t have the evidence to know if I could lose weight and keep it off let alone imagine a new way or new self.

I wrote about the start of my journey HERE so I won’t go into it again. What I am exploring in this writing is the idea of threshold and how it shows up in life. I imagine a threshold as the spot where I’m standing before two paths, both of which I could step onto. It is at this place that I took the time to sit and pause and was finally able to delve into my WHY - why I wanted to lose weight, which you can read about HERE. The path I took as I stepped off the threshold was one I’ve continued to walk along and am excited about as this New Year has begun.

I believe it’s important to pause along one’s journey and revisit where you’ve been, where you are now and where you’re going. The picture below is a place I visited before the pandemic and I continue to be drawn to it - I imagine this spot as a threshold to sit and “just be”.

I don’t know who took this photo. I came across it in a FB group about Cumbria and the Lake District. I’ve been to this exact spot and hope it’s ok to post here.

John O’Donahue wrote: It is wise in your own life to be able to recognize and acknowledge the key thresholds: to take your time, to feel all the varieties of presence that accrue there, to listen inwards with complete attention until you hear the inner voice calling you forward.” 

I realized last year as I stood on that threshold that I couldn’t lose weight without making significant changes to my mindset and for the first time I slowed down enough to be present to the words, tones, voices, that had been telling me “you can’t”. It was both my inner voice and support from my coach (and good friends) that called me forward to replace those words, tones, and voices. I needed to gather evidence that the past was behind me and I was heading in the right direction - it took practice and consistent action to believe the path I was on was the right one.

Each time I sit quietly writing in my journal I feel that I’m on a bit of a threshold - I ensure I’m present by doing a round of tapping before putting pen to paper. I ensure that I reflect - about the past, even if it’s yesterday. I become present and aware of the feelings and thoughts that have accrued. And, I listen to the whispers and inner voices that give me the nod to move ahead.

The other day as I was writing, I found myself reflecting on how I was feeling about the progress I was making - the number on the scale, which is no longer a trigger for joy or disappointment, is going down and my weekly averages are lower than when I began in September. It occurred to me that each threshold I’ve been on since I began has been worthwhile.

Here’s what I wrote:

I’m recognizing that the path I’ve chosen is totally my responsibility - what I eat and drink, whether I walk or not, when I turn the lights out at night, how I feel about being in charge of me - it’s all mine.

And, perhaps for the first time I recognize it’s not about restriction, blame or feeling shame, but about self-care and supporting myself in healthier, balanced ways that I couldn’t get at before.

In the past when that little rebel voice said “It’s all up to you!”, what she was really doing was wagging her finger at me, and using a tone that reminded me I’d failed before and I’d likely fail again. It felt more like a “I told you so” or “It’s your fault” kind of statement.

Now, I hear “It’s all up to you” in a tone that’s strong, powerful, and calm. I’m empowered to choose and I choose me and the direction I’m headed in.

After writing I closed my journal and realized I’d once again stepped off the threshold, continuing down the path that is becoming second nature to me. My “Why” has expanded to include “I get to be responsible for myself!” and that rebel part who I held onto for so many years has now become my ally, cheering me on, shouting from the rooftops “We’ve got this!”

I’m grateful to Helen Davidson (Ageless Possibilities) and her Women Rowing North: Writing Our Life Stories workshop and the introduction to the idea of Thresholds. I’m her autobiographical writing class and highly recommend it.

Won’t you join me in The W.I.S.E.R. Woman’s Guide for this week’s writing prompts where you’ll explore your thresholds and the paths ahead of you?

Join me HERE to sign up.

With gratitude for reading,

Joan

Won’t you join me in the Tap and Write Studio?