Seasoned Voices: “A Day in the Life”
This post is the Spring edition of our Seasoned Voices series as we explore “A Day in the Life” of each of us.
Each writer brings her own perspective, experience and unique writing style. At the end of this post you’ll find links to the other Seasoned writers’ reflections. Please explore our voices in this shared writing journey.
We’d love it if you’d leave comments, share our posts, follow and join those of us with newsletters.
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Dear Reader,
I'm not sure you'd be interested in what a day in the life of Joan Ridsdel looks like. I’m not a celebrity, world travellor, famous author, or someone who reports an exciting life like many we see on Instagram or social media.
I’m a woman who continues to work on herself, who is still figuring things out, and living what I hope is a meaningful and intentional life, albeit a pretty ordinary one.
As I get closer to 70, I’m more mindful of what I include in my day, who I spend time with, what I do with my mind, and how I connect with feelings and my body.
It is the slow work of becoming that I’m most interested in these days; of addressing what’s unfinished from the past, what emerges during the ordinary moments of each day, and what I want and need for my future self and life.
So, I’m happy to share with you, not the highlight reels in the movie theatres about what’s coming to the big screen, but my unfolding life in moments shaped by the 5 pillars I try to live by each day.
Meaningful Work:
Finding meaning in my work has always been important to me. But when I retired from my job, I realized that coaching and my recent creation, Tap and Write, has been the most meaningful to me.
They are the vehicles I use to share my skills and knowledge while supporting others with their growth and development. They allow me to draw upon the Wisdom I’ve gathered throughout my life and am able to use with credibility that only years of experience and aging brings.
On any given day I can be found searching my wisdom bank for just the right question to ask a client to help her shift or change her perspective.
On other days I find myself depositing a nugget of wisdom to the account – it might be because I’ve learned something important from a client or realized a new variation that’s worth keeping.
And it shows up in the meaningful work I’ve embarked on with my health journey. I finally understand that the war I waged with my body for decades was never really about food at all, but about belonging to myself and using my inner wisdom to change outdated habits and patterns.
Creativity and Expression
When my boys were little, I’d get them ready for sleep by making up a story. Each night they looked forward to the next installment and despite feeling exhausted and ready for them to fall asleep, I’d dig deep and create the next chapter. Decades later, my little grandson asks me to tell him a story and on any given day during the week, I’m back to “Once upon a time there was a dragon who…”.
I’ve found my creative niche in Tap and Write. I love the days when I craft EFT tapping scripts followed by therapeutic/reflective writing prompts. The combination of these two mediums allows us to be creative and express our thoughts and feelings safely, trusting our inner voice to guide us. Tap and Write is therapeutic, but not therapy, allowing us to explore what is often difficult to access just by thinking alone.
And then there’s writing. Daily (mostly) writing in my journal to work through a wobbly moment or jot down moments I want to remember from a family dinner, a walk, a conversation.
On other days, you’ll find me focused on writing a blog post – sometimes the words come easily to me and sometimes I’m forced to walk away from the page until my creative well is filled and my pen flows easily across the page. I don’t stress about it anymore – I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be.
Self-Compassion
For decades I was my own worst enemy. My inner critic was alive and well and took every opportunity to ensure I didn’t believe in myself. This part of me still exists – but with coaching and support and using tools like EFT Tapping, it’s become a smaller part, a quieter voice, more cooperative and even at times, an ally.
My weight loss/health journey has taught me something about self-compassion I didn’t expect. I’ve been learning the difference between the “soft” kind and what my coach refers to as the “hard” kind.
Soft compassion is useful for the times when I’m not feeling well and need to listen to my body, when pushing myself becomes counterproductive. When I’ve had a cold/flu and struggled to get my steps in, I’ve used soft compassion to give myself permission to rest and allow for healing.
But on the days when it’s just more convenient not to walk or I don’t “feel” like it, I’ve learned to use hard compassion to help me understand that it’s in my best interest to move my body – that caring for myself through walking is a radical act of compassion. And, that not “feeling” like it is fluid – feelings come and go and can be influenced by changing what we do and how we think.
Each morning, I take a moment to Tap (EFT) and give thanks for my body. It used to be that I would look in the mirror each day with a vicious critical eye that matched the words I used to describe how much I disliked my body.
Now my voice is different. More compassionate. Appreciative, no matter what the number on the scale says.
Energy
Energy is the foundation beneath all my pillars. It’s not only about how much energy I have to use physically and socially, but my energy on a intuitive and spiritual/soulful level.
I never understood why there were times when I needed to withdraw or take a step back, when my energy felt lower, quieter. I blamed whatever I could for it – my thyroid, the weather, whatever seemed a convenient reason.
And then I learned about Human Design and what it means to be a 6/2 Generator. Suddenly I understood! What a relief to realize that it’s natural for me to withdraw, regroup and need time for myself. It’s equally natural for me to have more energy and be available as a wisdom keeper, coach and guide. I now accept and welcome both energies within myself.
My daily walks, strength training two or three times per week, and paying attention to how I’m nourishing and fueling my body before my activities, all contribute to me having enough physical energy to get through my training sessions and my daily steps.
I couldn’t be prouder at what I’ve been able to accomplish each day as I’ve changed my habits and begun caring for my energy.
I haven’t always looked after my spiritual/soulful energy. For the longest time I focused on the physical. But as I age I become more aware of my connection with spirit and intuition. You’ll find me each day taking a moment to listen to my intuition and asking spirit to guide me in the best way possible. I’m trusting this practice as I continue my journey to becoming.
Connection and Relationships
I’ve always been able to connect with others easily. I can’t tell you how I do it – it just seems to happen naturally. When travelling by train to work I often left with life stories from complete strangers.
I’ve been told there’s something trustworthy about me that draws people in. I’ve experienced it from my early days as a social worker to the present when I coach and facilitate Tap and Write sessions.
I’m grateful for this gift and yet it’s not lost on me the sense of responsibility I feel as I create spaces where others feel safe enough to be heard, explore their struggles, fears and parts of themselves they’ve kept hidden.
You’ll find me in the Tap and Write Studio where I create a process designed to connect each participant with themselves. Always, I set the stage by talking about the importance of safety and of taking responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, and actions. I’m there to support and guide and take responsibility for the process and my facilitation.
Boundaries need to be clear - clarity brings connection.
And then there’s self-responsibility and the relationship I have with myself.
Each day you’ll find me checking in with my hunger cues. I used to think freedom was eating and drinking when, how much and what I wanted. In that moment rebellion would take over, resulting in a spiral until I faced regret, shame and disappointment.
Now, I eat mostly nutrient dense foods in portions that satisfy my hunger and I include foods I used to binge on – 2 squares of dark chocolate daily, an ice cream bar weekly, a couple of alcoholic drinks if I want them on the weekend.
No restriction. Flexibility. Freedom.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t touch on resilience as part of this pillar. It’s grown over time as I’ve navigated some of my darkest and most challenging moments – sitting quietly as my mother took her last breath was hard. It’s grown through the gift of having others hold me when I’ve needed support. From putting myself back together differently after challenging times.
Resilience has connected me to an inner strength I wasn’t always aware I had. It gives me hope, helps me bounce back when life doesn’t go to plan or relationships change or disappear.
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And now, Dear Reader!
I told you at the beginning I wasn't sure you'd be interested in “A Day in the Life” but I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my five pillars - not because they make my days extraordinary, but because they guide me to live each day with intention and purpose. They are quietly, persistently shaping the woman I am still becoming – a W.I.S.E.R. Woman.
Thanks for reading!
Joan
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Seasoned Voices Links:
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